


That the universe was made, Just to be seen by my eyes.

by Kat92



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-17 10:49:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3526472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat92/pseuds/Kat92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Memes and ficlets</p><p>(Title from Saturn by Sleeping at last. (Which is such a Caryl song))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sleepless nights

**Author's Note:**

> It got a bit away from me, but I'm quite happy with how it ended. 
> 
> Written for EmpressMcbride with the ship of Caryl and the meme of: Things you said when you were scared 
> 
> This takes place on the first night in the Alexandria safe zone.

 

 

The nights were always the hardest. Here there was the time when your mind betrayed you and brought forth memories you would rather leave in the past. It was the time between closing your eyes, ‘til sleep took you.

 

It wasn’t so bad when they were in a group, you could always focus on Abraham’s snoring until you drifted off, or some other distraction. And Abraham’s snoring really did drown out everything else.  
It was worse if you were sleeping somewhere where there was no other sound than your own breathing and perhaps a few walkers. That was just a bit too much like being trapped in the lower cells of the prison.

 

It was a feeling of safety to have all the others sleeping around her, but that didn’t help much tonight, as Carol for some reason just couldn’t sleep. It had been hours and all she did was toss and turn, even Abraham had betrayed her by not snoring. There were still other noises, of course, but none that really kept her mind occupied.

 

Sighing, Carol got up from her bed on the floor and walked out onto the porch, where she sat down on the stairs.

 

\----------- 

 

_“I can’t lose you too”_

 

Daryl turned over on the floor. It had been so long since she said that to him, but he still remembered it from time to time. Carol had been the first to make him feel like he was part of the group, telling him he was just as good as Rick and Shane. Back when Sophia had still been missing. Well, he sure as hell hoped that he was better than Shane, since things hadn’t turned out so well for him. Daryl thought he had acted like such a prick then, calling her a stupid bitch and storming off. There had been fear as well as tears in her eyes at the time and he just couldn’t take her giving up on Sophia, not when he was still looking for her. She thought that she had lost Sophia already then, it had taken an apology and quite a bit of a speech before she seemed to believe that her daughter might be safe again. Then only to have it all taken away when they finally did find Sophia.

 

But she had said it with such feeling, like she actually gave a damn if he lived or not. Of course he knew now that she did care, they were a family. He cared about her too, she was... Carol... how could he not care about her?

 

 

_“You have to let yourself feel it”_

 

 

Damn her. Daryl was perfectly aware that he wasn’t the most emotional man in this apocalyptic world. But what if she had meant he had to let himself feel more in general. Like ... other stuff... like her.  
He stirred as he spotted Carol getting up from the floor, and leaving the house. Daryl just lay and looked after her for a while, chewing his lip, wondering what to do.

 

\---------

 

The fresh air didn’t do much good, if anything it just made her more awake. Carol even caught herself scouting the area for walkers. She obviously still wasn’t used to these walls, which was a good thing, she didn’t want to get used to them. This wasn’t Terminus, that much was obvious. But Carol still had this gut feeling that something wasn’t right about this place. 

The quiet wasn’t much help either. Before she had a chance of stopping it, thoughts of the past year came back to her. The girls, Terminus, Atlanta, more precisely Daryl’s face right before that van had fallen down from that bridge. In that moment, Carol had really thought that that was the end of everything. She had both hated and loved that Daryl had been the one who had been there with her. Of course she didn’t want him to die, but at the same time she was glad that his face was the last one she got to see. It was twisted and wrong; she would definitely never tell anyone else about it.

 

 

_“Hold on”_

 

 

All she remembered from the way down, was the rushing feeling and how hard she had held onto his hand, in what she thought would be her last moment.  

 

When the door behind her creaked, Carol instinctively placed her hand on her gun, turning to see what it was. Daryl, she immediately relaxed, before turning back to look at the road in front of the house. He sat down on the other side of the stairs. “Couldn’t sleep?”

 

“Nah” Daryl said, looking at her. “Floor’s too soft” 

 

Carol smiled a bit, glancing at him. “We could always sleep out here”

 

He huffed. “Yeah” ... “What are you doing out here?”

 

“Same as you... “

 

Daryl looked at her as if he didn’t believe that the floor was too soft for her too. And it wasn’t, that wasn’t why she couldn’t sleep. Carol just shook her head a bit, “are we just going to trust these people?” 

 

“Hell no” He answered promptly. Which instantly made her feel better. Rick had already said that if things didn’t work out, they could just take over the place. Carol was all for that, the group came first. But it almost felt like they were safer outside the gates, than they were in here.

 

“Promise?” She had a gut feeling that the others would start to act like they were safe, the longer they stayed in here.

 

Daryl nodded, slow but steadily. “We’ll be safe, here or somewhere else... we will be” He looked at her, knowing that he’d do all that he could to make that true.

 

Meeting his eyes, Carol wasn’t quite sure what to say. No one in the group made her feel quite as safe as Daryl. But when it came to talking about that, she normally went into a tongue lock. Safety was a touchy subject, she didn’t easily trust others with her safety because of everything in her past. Carol took pride in the fact that she could keep herself safe. She trusted the group with everything, but not these new people. Not by a long shot.

 

Carol didn’t realize that she had been staring at him, before she suddenly felt a hand placed on top of hers.

 

“I can’t lose you too” He said quietly, as he curled his fingers around her hand.

 

Looking him in the eye with a rather shocked look, Carol curled her fingers around his hand too. “You won’t” she assured him quietly.

 

They sat like that for quite a while, before they let go and went back to bed, both with a slight pink color in their cheeks. 


	2. I can't let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another meme challenge set by EmpressMcbride
> 
> \- Things you said with too many miles between us
> 
> I've slightly altered it into being things you thought, in stead of said. As I don't think Daryl or Carol would talk about 'them' with anyone else.

 

Carol wasn’t stupid, she knew that if she was ever found out about killing David and Karen, there would be consequences. But she hadn’t lied about it, when she was asked she had told the truth. What she had not expected was that Rick would actually kick her out, just like that. He had a right to of course, but Carol didn’t regret what she had done, she did it to protect the group.

 

But she had never expected to be cast off like that. Being on her own was a thing she hadn’t tried before, she had always relied on other people, but now she had to stand on her own two feet.

 

She did alright, found shelter and she had food. As she set up a perimeter Carol tried to come up with what to do next. Where would she go, what would she do? It was not an easy thing to do, even thinking about moving further away from her family hurt her. 

  
But what was more important was; what would the others think of her when they found out? What would Daryl think? In a way she felt sure that he would understand why she did what she did. That he would know her well enough to understand. That he wouldn’t hate her for it.   
God, what would she do if she ever saw him again and he hated her? Would she even be able to handle that? Maybe it would be best to just not know, she couldn’t go back anyway, so she wouldn’t get to know. She just had to make her peace with it. She would never see her family again, she had lost them.. again. Daryl. Closing her eyes, a single tear ran down her cheek. Imagining him looking at her with disgust and hate was heart breaking. She couldn’t face that, she couldn’t go back.

 

Carol went to bed that night, feeling more broken than she ever had.

 

But it all changed the next day, when she saw the smoke.

 

 

\----------------------

 

 

What would he do now? What the hell was he supposed to do without her? Rick said she would survive, that she had a car and supplies, but he didn’t believe it. That much was obvious. Daryl knew she could survive, but would she? Being able to survive and actually surviving weren’t as strongly connected as they used to be. Anyone could be caught by surprise

 

The only good thing about Carol not being at the prison, was that she wasn’t there for the attack. He got out alive with Beth, but he didn’t know who else did. 

  
Daryl liked to imagine that Carol had found some place safe, well, safer than being stuck in the trunk of a car like he and Beth were. Facing walkers was sometimes a good way of letting out steam, but these days he didn’t enjoy anything about it, constantly fearing that he would run into a walker that looked like someone he knew. Maggie, Rick, Carl, or.. Carol. He had nightmares of what might have happened to her, or how her dead body would come at him, staring at him with dead eyes and she tried to eat him. If it wasn’t for Beth he might actually consider letting her bite him. Was there really anything worth staying alive for? For all they knew, everyone else in the prison had died. There was no one they could trust and no one could make it alone these days.

 

 

_“Daryl??” There was a kick to his boot. “You don’t like this book do you? You keep falling asleep” she smiled at him._

 

_“Mmm tired” he replied, opening his eyes to see that they were back at the prison library, sitting on the floor, resting against bookcases, opposite each other. She looked peaceful, happy and beautiful as ever._

 

_“You can’t sleep now, you have to keep going… Beth needs you” Carol said as if it was the most normal thing to say._

 

_“But I need you” He found himself saying_

 

_“Then come and find me.. I’m waiting for you” She smiled at him, with a warmth and a glint in her eye, as if they were talking about Judith’s latest development and not life and death._

 

 

That was the last thing he saw before he woke up. It was probably the worst sleep he had ever had, and yet he felt energized more than he had been in days.

 

 

\----------------- 

 

 

When she lay down to sleep that night, Carol almost wished that she wouldn’t wake up again. She couldn’t take this anymore.. Mika .. Lizzie, god knows how many others at the prison. Tyreese knew the truth now, the only reason she was still alive was because of his kindness and inhumanly big heart. Now it was just the two of them and Judith, and they’d have to go out there again. They’d have to keep going, keep fighting, if only for Judith.   
There were only a few hours left of the night, when Carol finally drifted off to sleep.   


 

_It was dark all around her, the only sound she could hear was the snarling of walkers. Carol felt the panic running up the back of her neck as she reached out with her hands, only to find solid concrete wall on three sides, the last side was the door, but it was firmly closed. The snarling came closer, from behind her, and Carol felt her pulse racing as she pounded her fists against the door, crying out for help._

 

_Hearing a voice, she stopped pounding so she could listen. Daryl, Carl, and Oscar’s voices were carried close to her. She banged on the door again, crying at the top of her lungs, but their voices faded away again._

 

_“No no.. come back! Hear me! Please! Daryl! Please!! “ Her voice was high pitched as the panic took over and she fell to her knees, sobbing._

 

_It was only then that light entered the cell as the door was opened. A hand reached down for her, she took it and got to her feet, right into the safety of Daryl’s waiting arms. “I’m here” He whispered, not letting go._

 

_“I’m so lost”_

 

_Daryl loosened his grip on her, placing two fingers under her chin, gently forcing her head up to make her look at him. “I’m still here.. waiting for you”_

 

 

\------------

 

 

Was this it? Was this the end? Being pressed up against a tub meant to drain his blood, with no way out, sure made it feel like this was the end. Daryl knew he should be thinking of Merle, his mom, everyone in their group. But all he could think about was Carol and all the things he never said or acted on. The way she looked at him, the sound of her laugh, the way she made him feel when she smiled at him. He didn’t even know if she was still alive, but for some reason that dream he had had, made him think that she was. If she was, he wouldn’t mind dying as much as he did now. Before he died he wanted to find her again, dead or alive, he just wasn’t ready yet. Carol needed him, she was waiting for him, somewhere out there.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

The plan hadn’t gone wrong per say, nothing had gone wrong, she just hadn’t found them. When she left Terminus she knew just as little about whether the others were alive as she had before. She had found Daryl’s crossbow and Rick’s watch. It didn’t prove anything, but it sure wasn’t a good omen either.

 

After she had taken off her disguise, Carol started making her way back to the place where she had left Tyreese and Judith. That was until she heard voices, and not just any voices, voices she knew. Walking towards them, Carol soon saw the faces of people she had come to think were dead. She felt the relief washing in over her as she got closer.

 

When Daryl turned to face her, she felt her heart jump in her chest and tears of relief fill her eyes. He was still alive, they were all still there. Well nearly all, she hadn’t had time to check who was there and who wasn’t. Especially since her eyes had been stuck to Daryl since they landed on him. She felt like running right into his arms, but before she could make her legs do just that, he ran to her and wrapped his arms around her.

 

All she could do was hold onto him as tightly as he did to her. Holding on like she would be able to keep him with her, if she just held on tightly enough. And grateful that she had found him again. Just like that, carrying on seemed like a much lighter burden.


	3. Cookies

Thinking back, Carol wasn’t quite sure why she had agreed to bring cookies to that party. It was part of her cover of course, but why cookies? She could bake, of course she could, it was pretty simple. But it was never a tidy process. The flour always went everywhere, no matter how careful she was, or how many times she had made that same batch of cookies. It was usually why she only baked when she was alone and Ed wasn’t around to see the mess. If she just had the kitchen clean by the time he got home, nobody would get hurt.

 

But now, she was lucky if only one or two of them saw the mess. Rick had already laughed at her the last time she baked, same with Carl and Tara. This time she had waited until everyone was out of the house, before she started baking.   
Pulling out another batch from the oven and putting them next to the one she had already put out to cool on the counter, Carol was startled when she heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

 

“What the hell happened here?” A gruff voice said.

 

Carol looked up at Daryl, “I’m baking”

 

“Did the flour explode?”

 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “No.. “

 

He met her eyes for a moment, huffing out a quiet laugh.

 

Carol just narrowed her eyes at him again, before turning back to putting the last batch in the oven and started cleaning the counters. “How’s the bike coming?”

 

Daryl watched her as she walked around the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, in one of the places where she hadn’t made a mess. He shrugged “Should be finished in a day or two” He spotted the cookies that were sat out to cool, and decided to make a go for it, while Carol had her back turned.

 

“They’re not for you” She said as if she had seen him move towards them. Maybe she just knew him well enough to know that he would.

 

“Looks to be plenty of them” he muttered back, but not stepping closer to them.

 

Carol wiped down the last counter and threw the wet cloth into the sink as she turned and stepped towards him. “But they’re not for you” She smiled slightly, because she felt as if she was telling off a child, not a grown man.

 

“You’ve got flour on your face”

 

Carol expected as much, although she had hoped that there wouldn’t be anyone around to see it. “Where?” She asked, placing a hand on her jaw, ready to get rid of it as soon as she knew where.

 

But Daryl didn’t say where. Instead he took another step towards her and reached up to brush a bit of flower from her cheek, with his thumb.

 

Carol almost flinched at the touch and she definitely felt her breath get caught in her chest. She just stared at him, blue eyes locking with his as his hand lingered just that bit longer than it would have, had it been a friendly gesture.

 

They stood like that for just a moment, even if it felt like an eternity. Then Daryl suddenly backed away, scratching the back of his neck and looking to the floor. “I should get back out there” He murmured.

 

Watching him turn around to leave, Carol suddenly felt herself step forward and grabbing a cookie from the tray. “You can have _one_ ” she said, holding it up.

 

Daryl stopped and turned around, looking back at her.

 

“ _if_.. You let me come for a ride when your bike is done” Carol was sure she saw the corner of his lips twitch.

 

“You got yourself a deal” He said, snapping the cookie from her fingers, then turned around to leave again.

 

Carol smiled as she watched him, almost sure that she heard an appreciative hum from him, before he went out the front door.  


	4. For the first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol wasn’t even sure why she was standing there. But she felt responsible for them. “He’s beating her.. Pete.. He’s beating her” She said as if that justified standing out here, watching their house. Like she would be able to make a difference if she saw him do it. Like it would justify going in there and stab him in the face. She was fully prepared to go in there, if she needed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god, I started this on Sunday the 22nd of March. The day before I watched season 5 episode 15 "try" - imagine how shocked I was, when there actually was a scene with Carol watching Pete's house. :P 
> 
> This is literally the hardest thing I've ever had to write, so if it goes a little bit out of character, please forgive me. It's freaking hard to write this with them. 
> 
> But it was a good challenge :P

 

It wasn’t all dark yet, even though it was late. That was summer for you, she supposed. Standing outside the house on the porch, she wasn’t able to see what went on inside of the building just two houses down the road. But her ears were on high alert, listening for the sounds that she knew all too well.   


The creak of a floorboard made her turn to see Daryl walk across the porch. Carol couldn’t deny that she was relieved to see him, that he was back, alive and well. It was one less thing to worry about. “How was it?” she asked, trying to sound carefree as she maybe should be.

 

Daryl shrugged, “Not much different” But he didn’t miss the worried tone in her voice.   
He followed the line of her eyes and looked at the house, then at her. Even if she didn’t look at him, she could sense the question written all over his face.

 

Carol wasn’t even sure why she was standing there. But she felt responsible for them. “He’s beating her.. Pete.. He’s beating her” She said as if that justified standing out here, watching their house. Like she would be able to make a difference if she saw him do it. Like it would justify going in there and stab him in the face. She was fully prepared to go in there, if she needed to.

 

Carol didn’t need to explain, it didn’t take more than that to make Daryl understand why she was standing there, watching that house like a hawk. She had been in Jessie’s place, of course she would want to help her.   
Daryl hated to think of her like that, how she had been back then and how Ed had treated her. If he hadn’t died that night, one from the group would probably have killed him by now. Daryl would have been happy to volunteer for that job.

 

“Come on” He said quietly, turning around and walking off the porch. When she hadn’t started to follow after a few steps, he turned back to look at her “Come on” He said again before walking down the stairs of the porch.

 

Carol looked at the house, but then turned to follow Daryl. They walked down the street in silence for a while, before he spoke up. “What’s the plan?” Carol looked at him, her whole face a question mark. “For the prick.. what’s the plan?”

 

Knowing that Daryl would have her back in this, as he always did, made facing a man like Pete a little easier. “I told Rick.. But I don’t know what he will do about it” Daryl just nodded. Carol felt a bit less worried, knowing that Daryl would be keeping an eye out for them too.

 

Seeing a man like Pete and knowing what he did, brought back many bad memories for her. Memories of what Ed had done, of who she had been then and how weak it had made her feel. It put everything in perspective. It reminded her of how much she had grown since then, how strong she was now. But whatever joy she might find in being reminded of this, was drowned by the knowledge that someone else was going through what she had, right now.

 

“We need to save her.. It’s what I would have wanted back when.. “ Her voice trailed off into silence. Carol tried not to think too much of what had been before, it didn’t help anyone. She had hoped and prayed for something to change, so that she could get away and get Sophia away from Ed. But at the same time she had known that nobody was coming for them. There weren’t anybody who looked out for them. Maybe some people knew what he was doing to them, but none that cared enough to act on it. And she had been too screwed up, to be able to save herself and her daughter. It had been hopeless for so long – who would have thought that it would take the world ending for them to be free of him?

 

A hand on her arm, made her look back at Daryl, not realizing that he had been watching her this entire time. “We will”

 

Carol nodded silently, grateful that he had returned when he had, so she didn’t have to face this alone. Everyone else had their own stuff going on, Daryl was the one who always had her back and she needed him for this.

 

The sound of approaching footsteps, stirred them out of the quiet moment. Instinctively, they ran in between a couple of houses, all the way to the back of them. The houses were right next to the wall, with only just enough room for both of them to stand there, pressed against each other, so that they both could peek around the corner, spying on whoever was also taking an evening stroll.   
It wasn’t people from their own group, but who it was, Carol couldn’t tell from that distance. It wasn’t until the people had stopped in front of the houses and had been talking for a while, that Carol relaxed enough to realize how close they were standing. That they were in fact pressed up against each other, between the wall of the house and the wall to the outside.

 

“Why are we hiding?” She asked, in a whisper. Daryl looked as if he thought about it and like she had, came to the conclusion that they looked more suspicious for hiding, than they would have for just taking a walk together.

 

“Force of habit I guess” He murmured, looking down at her. It would be stupid to give away their position now, so they’d just have to wait for the people to move on. They couldn’t stand out there all night, talking. Right?

 

They both chuckled, then went quiet for another long while. Carol looked around the corner, it still wasn’t clear. Besides looking out at the road, there wasn’t much else to look at, but Daryl. Not that she minded that view, not in the slightest. “I’m glad you’re here”

 

“Where else would I be?” He asked quietly, tilting his head to the side.

 

“Out there.. “ Which would mean that she would be the one left to deal with Pete on her own, if Rick didn’t do something about it. Even Sam had proven to be quite the handful, he reminded her too much of the kids she had lost in the past. She didn’t want to care about him, just in case something would happen to him. But he was making it so difficult not to care.

 

“I’m not going anywhere.. not before we’ve solved this.. I won’t leave you to deal with that on your own”

 

Carol smiled relieved at him, before she let her forehead fall to rest against his chest. “Thank you” She felt him tense for a moment, before he relaxed and put a hand against her arm, stroking up and down slowly.

 

The stroke of his hand against her arm calmed her, instantly. Carol turned her head to rest the side of her face against his chest, her forehead almost pressing against his neck. Crawling further into his embrace, Daryl put his other arm around her. She felt a safety there, that she hadn’t felt in .. maybe ever. At least since the last time her father held her like that. She couldn’t even remember when that was.

 

Daryl rested his cheek against the top of her head.

 

She listened to his breathing and his heartbeat, finding it beyond southing. Unlike what she had thought, his heart wasn’t racing, neither was hers. It didn’t feel awkward in any way, it just felt right. “Don’t fall asleep on me” Daryl murmured, sounding just about as relaxed as she felt.

 

“Mmm.. I might”

 

Daryl chuckled, a sound that was even sweeter, with her ear pressed to his chest. “Won’t it be uncomfortable?”

 

“No” she muttered, smiling softly as she did. Carol was pretty sure that sleeping right here, standing up or not, would be the best sleep she had ever had.

 

He chuckled again, which only made her smile grow. The hand he had placed on her small of her back, drew small patterns on top of her shirt.

 

“Carol?”

 

“Mmm?” When he didn’t reply, she leaned back to look up at him, finding him studying her face as if the greatest secrets of the universe were written on there.  

 

Placing a hand to cup her face, he starred into her eyes, debating whether or not he was dreaming this and what the hell he was supposed to do now. He knew what he wanted to do, but he couldn’t make himself believe that she might want to do the same.

 

The hands she had placed on his chest, curled around the fabric of his shirt and vest as he leaned in on her. With her breath caught in her chest, Daryl pressed his lips against hers in a kiss so soft, it could barely be described as a kiss.

 

It was feather light, like he was scared that she would push him away. Nothing could have been further from her mind in that moment. Her heartbeat finally picked up, under her hands, she felt his do the same. She couldn’t even say what it made her feel at that moment, it was just .. everything.

 

He moved to lean away, after breaking the kiss, but Carol used her grip on his vest to keep a hold on him, as she raised herself up to kiss him again, quite a bit more firmly this time, folding her arms around his neck to keep him close.

 

Again Daryl tensed for a moment, then relaxed and wrapped his arms tightly around her. It took several long moments and genuine lingering kisses before they finally parted. But only far enough to look at each other. “I think they’re gone now” Carol whispered, after a long moment where they just stared at each other.

 

“Who cares?” he murmured back, smiling softly at her.

 

She smiled back at him, uncertain of where they would go from here. But she knew that she would be going there with him.


	5. Tell me, that you'll open your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What might have happened, if Daryl had been the one getting sick in stead of Glenn in season 4.

 

To Carol, Daryl was like an icon of strength. She was quite sure that she had never met anyone stronger or more stubborn than him. He had a will to keep fighting that she hadn’t seen in anyone else.   
So to see him lying on a bed, unconscious, sweaty, and with dark rings under his eyes, scared the hell out of her. Even during winter, when they had been on the road and had had nothing to eat, he hadn’t looked this weak or exhausted. He had been the one who kept telling her that they would make it, trying to keep her spirits up, when they were out hunting for game that wasn’t there.

 

Some people had already died from, whatever this was. Including Karen and David, but that was her fault. Rick knew, but he hadn’t done anything about it yet. Carol wasn’t sure what he would do about it, but she knew that he wouldn’t just let it go. In that way he was still very much a cop. She just hoped that he wouldn’t do anything before she knew Daryl was going to be okay.

 

“How’s he doing?” Carol jumped a bit, at the sudden sound of the voice, she hadn’t even heard Hershel approach the cell.

 

“His breathing’s getting more and more shallow” Carol said quietly, as if she didn’t want to wake him up. When in fact, he hadn’t been conscious in the past many hours. Maybe all night. She had lost track of how long she had been sitting on the floor, by his side, bathing his forehead with a damp cloth, just because she didn’t know what else to do.  When she started she had been sitting up on her knees, barely touching him, beside the place where the cloth touched his forehead. But as time passed she got more and more tired and leaned more and more against the bed and letting her arms rest across his chest. Had Daryl been awake, she would never have done that, but he didn’t move an inch, no matter how much she leaned on him. And after several hours of leaning against him, she hardly noticed it anymore.

 

“Glenn and the others should be back soon” Hershel commented, looking at her like he pitied her. Carol knew it didn’t look good, but she couldn’t stand the thought of people giving up on Daryl. And Hershel looked at her as if Daryl was already dead. She couldn’t give up on him, not now, not ever. Daryl would be fine, she had to believe that, he would want her to.

 

“Do you need any help with the others?” Carol looked up at him, looking almost as exhausted as Daryl.

 

“no.. you stay here, I’ve got it” He humped away on his crutches and Carol almost felt guilty for staying put. Until she turned to look back at Daryl, her heart sunk as she listened to his struggle to breathe. She knew that Hershel had been helping out in here, as long as she had. But since Daryl fell unconscious, she found it an impossible thought to leave his side.

 

Picking up the cloth again, she washed away the beads of sweat that had appeared on his brow, in the moments she had looked away.   
“You’re gonna wake up and call me a fool for worrying” She watched his face for any sort of evidence that he might be able to hear her. Running the cloth over his lips, she tried not to stare at them too much. Although she had never told anyone, she was very honest to herself about just how much she cared about this man. But at the same time she told herself that he didn’t feel the same, how could he? At the very least she had now ruined it all for herself. Once he found out that she had killed Karen and David, he wouldn’t want her around anymore. Maybe they would all kick her out and she would really be on her own. Something Carol couldn’t remember having been before. That scared her too.

 

“Please wake up.. I don’t know what Rick’s gonna do and.. I don’t wanna leave without knowing that you’re okay” She let her thumb stroke across his cheek, trying not to give into the exhaustion that was threatening to take over.

 

Resting her chin on his chest, her hand that held the cloth fell to his shoulder, too tired to even wash his face anymore. “The group needs you Daryl.. You can’t give up now” She murmured, fighting to keep her eyes open.

 

“I didn’t mean to.. I wouldn’t have, if there had been another way.. you know that right?” If she needed anyone to understand, it was Daryl. She was of the opinion that she didn’t need to defend herself, she had done what she did for the group, to protect everyone. It just hadn’t worked out, the way she had hoped, the sickness had still spread and now more people were sick.

 

“I was trying to protect us” she wondered if he would see that. He knew her well enough to see that, didn’t he?

 

Carol closed her eyes, just for a moment, as she said a silent prayer for him. He might not believe in it, but in some way, she still did. They were blessed to have found a place like this, and despite everything that had happened to them, she still thought that they were pretty lucky.   
She didn’t realize that she was drifting off to sleep, before it was too late to stop herself.

 

\-----------------

 

When she came to again, the first thing she noticed was that the scarf she had been wearing around her head had slid down and off her face. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she could feel that the awkward position she had been sleeping in, leaning in over Daryl and resting on his chest, had left her sore in her back and neck, not to mention her legs.   
The next thing she noticed was the fact that there was a hand resting on her neck, the thumb of said hand, stroking her cheek.

 

Slowly opening her eyes, Carol was extremely relieved to see Daryl looking back at her. _Thank god_. Lifting the hand, resting at his shoulder, Carol placed it against his forehead. A small smile spread on her lips, “your fever’s down”

 

Daryl nodded shortly, “Glenn and the others came back with medicine..” He didn’t move his hand and Carol was glad he didn’t, she didn’t want to move anywhere, just so he would keep his hand there. 

  
“How long was I asleep?”

 

Daryl shrugged, as well as he could, considering that he was laying down. “Hershel said you’d been here all night and all day yesterday”

 

“Somebody had to look after you”

 

“Hershel could have done that”

 

“He had everyone else to look out for”

 

“One more wouldn’t hurt him”

 

“Yeah well… tough”

 

Daryl huffed, which made Carol smile a bit more.

 

“You shouldn’t have risked it”

 

“You’ve risked more for me in the past. This was nothing”

 

“It’s not nothing… I’ve never had anybody worrying enough to sit by me for days”

 

Carol felt her cheeks heat. A moment of silence passed between them, before she spoke up again. “You better get used to it pookie”

 

“Stop” he smiled a bit, but it only made him look more tired than he had before.

 

“I’ll let you get some rest” Now that she was sure he was going to be okay, Carol could leave. Even if Rick kicked her out, it would be okay now, they would all be okay. Leaning away so she could leave, the hand on her neck stopped her.

 

“Didn’t say you had to go”

 

“Daryl you should--”

 

“Stay”

 

Carol met his eyes, he looked insistent, so she knew there would be no point in arguing. She felt his finger curls at her neck, gently pulling her closer to him. There was a soft but slightly confused look on her face as she let him pull her closer.   
The touch of his lips against hers, made her heart race in her chest. She cupped his face with her hand, holding on like Rick was really going to rip all this from her.

 

The kiss was soft and over far too soon, in her opinion. When they parted she just stared into his eyes, not sure what to think.

 

“I can sleep with you here” he said softly and scooted over before patting the now empty space on the bed.

 

Carol wasn’t sure what to think, she knew she loved him and now it turned out that he might feel the same about her? But what if Rick did kick her out, then what? Would he come with her? Part of her wanted him to stay with the other, the group needed him. But on the other hand she was terrified of being alone out there.   
She wanted to tell him everything, also so that she could know if he would hate her for what she did.

 

Laying down on her side, Carol faced him, and shortly after, she was resting more against him than against the bed. With her head on his shoulder, an arm resting on his chest, and his arm around her, they both lay in silence for a while. When Carol finally worked up the courage to tell him what she needed to say, she looked up at him, only to see that he had fallen asleep. Not wanting to wake him, she lay down her head again and closed her eyes.

 

They could talk later, when they were both more awake.


	6. You and me we're searching for the same light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a slightly alternative universe, where the prison didn't fall. Daryl returns from a two day supply-run and surprises Carol with a small treat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically just a smut thing. Which I've never written for fanfiction before, so please be kind. It's really not my strong suit. 
> 
> Chapter title is from you + me's You and me.

 

It was summer yet again, life seemed easier somehow, in the summer. Except for the more lively walkers and the occasional drought. But it was still early in the hot season so neither water or food was a problem. It was their 3rd year at the prison, so they were all well settled in here. No one was planning on moving anywhere. Not when this place was so well functioning. Hershel and Rick had made all of the area in front of the prison into farmland and pens for animals, they still relied on the game Daryl and a few others would bring in, but not as much as they once had. They had even enhanced the fences with concrete around the beams, so that it was unbreakable for walkers.   
New people kept coming to the prison, that they had cleared the building as far back as they could. They were even trying to patch up, the places where the walls had been broken down, so that they could be safe anywhere in the prison.

 

Things were good, things were safe. Thinking back on how things had been in the winter, before they found the prison, Carol couldn’t help but feel immensely safe here. It made her smile, even when she was elbow deep in laundry, like she was now. She was just glad she didn’t have to do the laundry of all nearly 80 people, but just their own group, and only because it was her turn.

 

Carol only jumped slightly, when she felt a pair of familiar, strong, arms being wrapped around her.   
“I’m gonna have to put a bell on you if you keep doing that” She smiled and leaned her head against his, as it came to rest on her shoulder.

 

“How was the run?” She felt him shrug, more than see it.

 

“Found a few cans of spam, bagged a couple of squirrels.. “

 

That really wasn’t much for a 50 mile trip, maybe they had exhausted all the sources of food in a reasonable radius, but they couldn’t leave now, not with things being as good as they were.

 

“Found this” He said and held up a brightly red strawberry, it even smelled like summer, Carol observed,  which made her mouth water. She knew he had taken it from the plants outside and not found it on the run, but that didn’t matter.

 

“For me?” She asked instead, knowing perfectly well that there would be a few irritated kids, if they didn’t get their strawberries. But at the same time she knew that this was Daryl spoiling her, which was something that she hadn’t had anyone do, since Sophia’s attempts to make her breakfast in bed.

 

Turning around, with his arms still around her, Carol looked at him and his tanned skin.   
“It’s yours for a kiss,” He informed her.

 

Carol tilted her head a bit. “Making demands now, Mr. Dixon?”

 

He looked at her lips, licking his own as he nodded once, firmly.

 

Seeing him look at her like that, sent a shiver up and down her spine. It had only been about six months since they both realized just what was going on between them. It had been a cold cold winter, where they had one night been cramped into one cell because they had run out of wood to burn.   
With Carol being as skinny as she was, she was one of the ones who took it the worst, shaking violently and her lips turned blue. With Daryl’s arms around her, they had shared several blankets as they sat on one of the beds. As it got colder, he had pulled her closer and closer, in an attempt to keep her warm. Somehow, that had turned into them kissing and things had just evolved from there. Carol still wasn’t sure who had initiated that first kiss. They had just looked at each other and then suddenly they were kissing. It had helped keeping warm though, the kissing.

 

Carol was glad to say that he hadn’t tired of her in the past 6 months, not that she had expected him to, but it was nice to have it confirmed often. And it was confirmed, every single time her looked at her like that. Like right now, he had only been away from the prison for a day and she was still the first person he sought out when he returned. Spoiling her with whatever he could find; strawberries, Cherokee roses. Once he even brought her a pair of earrings shaped as wings, to match his west. There would probably never be an occasion to wear them, but she was glad to have them, nonetheless. Even if all they would ever do, was lay on a shelf in her cell, it still made her smile every time she looked at them.

 

Folding her arms around his neck, Carol pulled herself up and close to him. She neared him slowly, dragging out the excitement of anticipation, before she finally met his lips with hers. It wasn’t just him who had missed her in the short time they had been apart. She had missed him too, of course. She always worried about him, when he wasn’t around, so it was a relief when he returned.   
Her arms closed in around his neck, pulling him closer and closer as his lips were molded around hers, softly rolling and caressing.  

 

Daryl’s arms folded themselves around her back, his lower arms spanning the entirety of her back so his hands could grab her sides, firmly. Carol liked how he could make her feel small and fragile, when he wrapped his arms around her like that and yet he never treated her as such. He was often very gentle, but he never treated her as fragile or weak in anyway. Which in itself made him the exact opposite of what Ed had been.

 

When the kiss ended and they, reluctantly, parted both a bit flushed. Daryl reached up to put the medium-sized strawberry into her mouth. His hands slipped down to the small of her back, as he watched her chew the juicy fruit, a hum of approval leaving her lips along with a stray drop of strawberry juice.

 

He didn’t wait for an invitation, but dove right in, licking the drop off her skin. Carol didn’t let him go far, but pulled him in for another kiss, while the taste of strawberries was still fresh on her lips.

 

Daryl growled and she sighed, as he hurriedly pushed her back against the sink behind her. His hands found their way under her top, caressing her skin in movements that felt more and more restless as the kiss intensified.

 

Leaning away, when she was no longer in doubt of where this was going, she saw the darkness in his eyes as they both panted lightly. “I locked the door” Daryl said, smirking, as his face hovered only inches from hers. As if he was just waiting for her approval, before he dove straight back into where they both knew this was going.   
Carol wasn’t sure what to think. Should she be flattered that he had been so thoughtful to lock the door, or annoyed that he was so sure he’d get laid, that he basically locked her in, here. “Mr. Confident” She mocked, but didn’t really care which option was the right one to take. In reality he just knew them well enough to know what they’d end up doing if they got the opportunity, he had just made sure that the opportunity presented itself now.

 

Daryl just huffed as he leaned in and kissed her neck, from the jaw and down. A well-planned move on his behalf as it never failed to make her weak at the knees. Slowly but surely, the soft rolls of his lips against her skin, along with the way he sucked at her pulse-point, made her melt. The arms she had placed around his neck, pulled him closer, as did the leg that she lifted and folded around his hip.

 

His hand left her back to grace a line, on the leg around his waist, from her knee to her backside, where his fingers dug passionately into the flesh of her ass. Or it would have, had her pants not been in his way. Carol ran a hand through his hair, biting down on her lip as she felt his erection pressing against her already heated core.

 

She tugged at the edge of his sleeveless shirt, impatiently, until he broke the contact between his mouth and her skin, so she could tug the shirt right over his head and throw it away, not noticing where it landed.

 

“Missed you last night” Carol muttered in between pressing her lips to his chest and running her slender fingers up and down his back. He hummed in agreement, a sound she had learned long ago, to interpret as a silent ‘me too’ Then it was his turn to tug at her shirt, until she let him remove it and then her bra.

 

His hands were all over her upper body as their lips collided again, this time far more hurried and desperate than the previous kiss. With her hands in his hair, their tongues circled each other, while she sighed and he lifted her into his arms, with a firm grip under her backside. They didn’t break the kiss, as he carried her to a bare piece of wall, pressing her up against it.

 

With her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, Daryl’s hands were free to dip down between them and undo her pants, then trying determinately to get them off her. But she had to fall back down onto her feet, to get her pants off, along with her underwear. Her boots too of course, otherwise she couldn’t get rid of the pants. When Carol’s hands went to his the button and zip of his pants, he quickly kicked off his boots and soon his pants followed.

 

Unlike the slow nights when they had nothing but time, they didn’t take that moment to look at each other, once every physical obstacle between them had been removed. This was all pulling, kissing and heated grunts. They were both just so desperate for the closeness they had gone without for just a day. Watching Daryl leave always left Carol behind with the gnawing thought of ‘what if he doesn’t return’. She’d think up all the things she’d miss and worry far too much about him. She tried not to show it, of course, but at least some members of their group knew that she did worry. Which was why, when Daryl was away, you would find Carol constantly busying herself with something. It didn’t matter if it was anything important, or just the laundry, as long as it kept her hands occupied and her mind somewhat occupied too.

 

Daryl lifted her leg, hooking it at her knee with his arm. Then suddenly he was inside her, filling her with one smooth thrust, making himself growl lowly and her whimper. The angle was new and so very deep, Carol was grateful that he let her adjust to him, before he started moving. But when he did move, she instantly clung to him, arms around his neck, one hand in his hair and the other’s fingers buried in the skin of his shoulder, as he slowly increased the pace.

 

Daryl pressed his forehead to hers, panting heavily just as she did. She moaned encouraging things as he pushed her further and further towards the edge. He replied in deep grunts and a quiet chanting of her name.

 

Loosing all knowledge of time and place Carol only felt the present moment and the man in her arms. As they panted in unison and lost themselves in the pleasure, the world of walkers and danger seemed to fade away and only the two of them mattered. It was their way to escape it all and none of them minded escaping it on a regular basis.

 

Both of their bodies were covered in a shiny glaze of sweat, when Carol fell apart in his arms, whimpering and shaking. Daryl followed her just after Carol’s high had ended. She felt him tense in her arms before he then totally relaxed and let go of her leg. There was no way that Carol could have supported her own weight on that leg, in that moment. So she was glad that Daryl kept her pressed against the wall, in that way making sure she stayed upright.   
Standing with their foreheads pressed together, sharing the air between them, they slowly came back to the real world.

 

Daryl cradled her face with his hands, kissing her lips softly. “What a welcome” he smirked.

 

Carol just smiled back at him, “Stop”


	7. How rare and beautiful it truly is to even exist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He felt like he was choking, like he couldn’t breathe, like her being gone had ripped something from him. Right out of his chest, that was where it hurt.   
> They weren’t even .. anything. He’d never told her, never had the guts to show it either and now it was too late. Even when they’d all made it out of Terminus, he’d lost his courage after they made it back to Judith and Tyreese. That night he’d wanted to tell her so bad, that he could have blurted it out without thinking about what he said. But like always he’d just sat there, quietly looking at her, wondering what had happened to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A musical meme - I got this prompt: 
> 
> Ship: Caryl Song: Saturn - sleeping at least ( there isn't a song that fits so well in their relationship like this one)

 

He could not believe it, he didn’t want to believe it. They had been on a supply run, just him and Carol, in this small town. Suddenly a herd of walkers had come along and somehow they had been separated. Daryl had tried to keep his eyes on her, but he got pressed up against a building and had to get inside to save his own ass. He made it to the roof and had kept a look out for Carol, but couldn’t see her anywhere. It took the rest of the day, before the herd had cleared out enough for Daryl to make his way off the roof again. But when he searched every building in that town she was nowhere to be found. There was no way he could track her, too many walkers had walked in the same places as she would have. There was only one thing to do – go back to the camp, or keep looking for her. Daryl did both, first he went back to the camp in the car, telling the others what had happened, then he went back to the town, when it got light again, to look for her.

 

It was like some sort of awful flashback of the days he had been looking for Sophia, only now it was Carol he was looking for and not her daughter.   
Knowing Carol, she would have headed back towards the camp, as soon as she was out of danger. So he did too, tracking as he went, hoping to find her. But he made it back to the camp, with no sight of her.

 

He was at a loss, Rick wanted to move on. They were still out in the open and it was too dangerous, especially for Judith. Daryl wanted to go back and look in another direction, but Rick was very against that.

 

“She’s gone, Daryl.. I know you don’t wanna face it, but you have to”

 

“She’s alive, I know she is” He growled back and he would have yelled it in his face too, if Rick hadn’t been holding a sleeping Judith as the others prepared to leave their temporary camp.

 

“It’s been three days, she would have been here by now, if she was still alive. You were surrounded, Daryl.. Many of us have died from far less”

 

“She’s escaped them before” He said, looking away, feeling like he was clinging on to hope where there was none. Rick was making sense, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t just give up on her.

 

“She’s gone Daryl.. The group needs you. I’m sorry, but you can’t keep looking, we need to keep moving - to find food.“

 

He felt like he was choking, like he couldn’t breathe, like her being gone had ripped something from him. Right out of his chest, that was where it hurt.   
They weren’t even .. anything. He’d never told her, never had the guts to show it either and now it was too late. Even when they’d all made it out of Terminus, he’d lost his courage after they made it back to Judith and Tyreese. That night he’d wanted to tell her so bad, that he could have blurted it out without thinking about what he said. But like always he’d just sat there, quietly looking at her, wondering what had happened to her.

 

There was no way he could leave, without leaving her some kind of clue to follow, just in case she had made it out.

 

-          _We’re heading west, I’ll leave a track for you_

 

He stayed back the whole day, didn’t say a word to anyone as they walked. The only thing he did was leaving marks on the trees they passed, marks Carol would be able to follow. For each mark, he felt like there was no point in doing them. Rick was right, she was gone. But he kept making them anyway, if only to keep his own hope alive.

 

At night, he lay as far away from the others as he could and still be within the perimeter. Looking up at the stars, he recognized several of the constellations and remembered the night Carol had taught them to him.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

They had been camped out on top of a row of eight-wheelers and she had stayed close to him in the autumn chill, whispering into the night as she pointed out the constellations. Daryl had of course watched her more than the stars, even if he could barely make her out in the darkness, in the scarce light of the rising moon. He had felt her hot breath on his face when she turned to look at him, seeing him stare right back at her.

 

“I’m boring you.. right.. I’ll just stop and go to sleep” There wasn’t enough light to see if she was blushing or not, but he guessed that she might have been.

 

“No, you’re not.. keep going” Okay so stars didn’t really interest him, he liked to watch them, but he didn’t know the stories that other people had made of them, and knowing what people in the past had thought of them didn’t interest him. But she did and what she thought interested him.

 

Her monologue turned to talking about the universe, Daryl only spoke when she asked him something or stopped. He only spoke to keep her talking, it seemed to be a topic she liked and it was so rare that he had her all to himself and they got to talk like this. She talked about how big the universe was and how little life there was actually out there. How rare a planet like Earth was and that it was even rarer to find life like the kind that was on this one. How there would always be life on Earth, even after they were all gone, there would always be some kind of life that lived on. Even if it wasn’t them.

 

“It’s so rare and beautiful that we even exist.. even with the world as it is now.. it’s still beautiful” She said as if she was in awe of her own words. Daryl had just starred at her, wondering how she could still see beauty in all this mess.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

Daryl let out a strangled sob as he looked at the sky. He’d give anything to hear her explain it all again, to lull him to sleep with her beautiful voice and the stories she knew by heart. To hear her explain the infinite and the rarity of their existence.

 

_“I know you .. we’re different, I can’t let myself .. But you- I know you. You have to let yourself feel it”_

 

He was feeling it – like a truck was resting on his chest, making it impossible to breathe. Tears streamed down his temples as he looked up at the sky, blurred by tears.   
He thought he had forever, to glance at her when she wasn’t looking and try to work up the guts and find the right time to tell her just how much he cared about her. But now it was just suddenly too late and it felt like he had been robbed of something. Something unique, not just her but them and what they had had, not to mention what they could have had.

 

God, he could have loved her, could have held her every night and chased away the nightmares she got from time to time. He could have been so much more to her, he could have been all that Ed never was and maybe make her realize that she was so much more important than she thought she was. But that was all too late now, he missed his chance. Once again, he had really fucked up and ruined everything for himself.

 

Of course, he cried – He’d lost his reason to keep going, his everything.

 

 

Daryl didn’t get much sleep that night, he didn’t eat the next morning, just like the night before, and once again he didn’t talk to anyone. He kept to himself, like he had suddenly been set back years, to who he had been then.   
They walked along in the forest, moving further and further away from the area where Carol could have been. Where he could have found her, if he hadn’t been so quick to give up, if Rick hadn’t made him leave with the others. It made him feel bad to think that way, but he couldn’t help but think that he deserved it. What if he could have saved her, but he didn’t, because he was too loyal to the group? Would he ever be able to forgive himself for that?

 

He’d broken away from the others, to try and hunt down some meat for them. Daryl had made a habit of doing that long ago, that he didn’t even have to say where he was going when he left, they already knew.   
He still cut the marks in the trees, even if it felt pointless. At this point he was just clinging to her memory, unable to just let go.

 

Tracking was hard, when his thoughts where on everything else but the hunt. Not even the hunger that he felt from time to time could make him focus. He didn’t feel like eating, so even if he caught something, it wouldn’t be him who ate it. There was no point, what was the point in anything anymore? The only reason he was even breathing, was for the group. Like Rick said, they needed him. But he needed her.

 

The thing that finally made him snap out of the daze he had been walking around in, was the call of a dove. Not the fact that it was a dove, but the way it cooed.   
Long ago, Daryl had tried to teach Carol a signal to make when an area was clear, or she needed his help but there were enemies around. She’d never quite perfected the call and that was what caught his ear now. That little flaw that made it obvious, at least if you were a person who knew doves, that it wasn’t a bird.

 

He stood still for a long moment, his heart feeling as if it had stopped in his chest as he silently begged for the call to come again. When it did, Daryl replied with his own signal before he took off running in the direction it had come from.

 

It had been faint, so it was quite a run before he came to where he could see her. She too, was running right towards him, it only made him speed up, running as fast as his legs would carry him, before they crashed into each other, wrapping their arms around the other, holding on like they’d never let go again.

 

His head was buried at her neck, as he lifted her off the ground, keeping a very tight hold on her. It was too much like Terminus, this couldn’t go that way, not again. Dammit he wasn’t going to mess this up again.

 

“Shit Carol.. I thought.. I thought you were really gone this time” He murmured at her neck and finally put her down so he could lean away to look at her, all too aware that there were tears in his eyes.   
She was barely safely on her feet, before he wrapped his hands around her head and pulled her close to capture her lips with his in a desperate and needy kiss. He felt her stiffen against him and only then realized what he was actually doing. But before she could move to do anything, he broke the kiss, but kept his hands clinging on to both sides of her face, so he could look at her. “I love you Carol” His words were simple and hurried, like this was a dream and it was the only chance he’d ever get to tell her how he truly felt, like she might slip away any second and he would have missed his chance once again. It might as well have been a dream. He hadn’t eaten since she disappeared, so he could just have passed out in the forest. Hell, he could be dead and this was heaven. If it was, he certainly wouldn’t complain.

 

“Daryl I –“

 

“I just need you to know.. Wanted to tell you before – after Terminus – I wanted to tell you so bad, but then I lost my nerve and then everything with Beth … You don’t have to - I just need you to know”

 

“Daryl” Carol waited patiently for him to stop rambling

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Shut up” She reached up and wrapped her hand around his neck, pulling him in so she could kiss him again, softer this time, but no less desperate.

 

Daryl totally melted into the kiss, even more so when she wrapped her arms around his neck. He let his hands fall from her head and instead wrapped his arms around her again, holding onto her tightly, never wanting to let go again.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

The reunion with the group was a very happy one and it was ages until Daryl got Carol to himself again. It wasn’t before they were lying on the ground, about to go to sleep, that they were somewhat alone, even though they were still surrounded by the others.

 

“Tell me again” He whispered softly, one arm wrapped around her, his nose buried in her hair.

 

“What?” She whispered back.

 

“About the stars and the universe”

 

“Again?”

 

Daryl nodded when she turned to look at him in the dull light of the dying fire.

 

Carol smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him, before she rested her head on his arm and looked to the sky, where she started all over, explaining the stars and what she knew of the universe.

 

This time Daryl only had his eyes on her, studying her every detail and drinking in the sound of her voice. He didn’t fall asleep this time, as she explained the infinite – how rare and beautiful it truly is to even exist – and this time he understood.


	8. Don't worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Daryl goes on a run and doesn't come back when he said he would, Carol starts worrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend is having a horrible day, so I wrote this to cheer her up. 
> 
> Thanks to Hannah for the ideas :)

 

Carol had known before they left, where they were going, what they were doing. Even though they were in Alexandria and they had enough food for now, runs were still needed to gather new food. The longer they had been there, the further the runs took them. Daryl and two of the locals had been planning a run for one of the bigger towns, a day’s drive away. Which meant a day there and a day back. Carol had listened in on their planning, by accident of course and heard them talking of how there would probably be many walkers there. If Daryl thought it would be overrun, it was bad. Daryl wasn’t one to call the kettle black unless it was really, really black.

 

They’d always looked out for each other, ever since the camp was attacked back in Atlanta. So when they had all been gone for the two whole days it should have taken them, to get there and back; Carol started worrying for them. She didn’t tell anyone, there were many things that could have delayed them, other than what she feared the most. They could be stuck somewhere, waiting for the walkers to pass, they could have found more food than they could move in time to get back, or something else entirely. They had taken both the van and the truck, so there was plenty of room for food.

 

She baked cookies to distract herself. For the distraction and because the last time she had made them, Daryl had said he’d come running whenever he smelled her baking. It was silly to think that he might do that now, he wouldn’t be within reach of the smell. But she did it anyway. They were still warm after dinner, still filling the kitchen with their sweet smell. Carol put a few of them on a plate and took it out with her, to the porch. Placing them on the bannister, hoping the smell would get him home sooner. Sitting down on the stairs, Carol watched the sky turn dark and the sun set, but it didn’t really get dark. It never did in the summer. No sign of them getting back.

 

Carol knew that if they were far away still, they’d stop for the night, hopefully somewhere safe. But if they were close, they’d keep going. That was what she hoped for, as she leaned against one of the beams of the banister. She twisted her hands within each other, as she contemplating praying to the god she wasn’t even sure she believed in anymore. Carol hadn’t been on a run since before they came to Alexandria, but she remembered the number of walkers they had seen on their way here. More specifically in the area where Daryl would have gone.   
She knew Daryl would fight to his last breath to make it back to the group, but she also knew that it wouldn’t take much to take down three men. Well armed, yes, but still only three men.

 

It got darker and colder, the cookies had stop sending out their tempting smell long ago, but Carol didn’t move. She heard the other’s going to bed, but she stayed put. It must have passed midnight, before her eyes started drooping. Carol leaned against the banister, as she fell asleep.

 

 

*~*~*~

 

 

She didn’t wake when the cars rolled through the gate. Daryl told them to drop him off, as soon as he saw her. The others went off to drop off the supplies, while Daryl walked back to the house. The sun wasn’t quite up yet, but it was definitely getting more light out. It couldn’t be more than 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning. As he got nearer the house, he could see her more clearly. She looked slightly blue, definitely cold. When he got close enough he touched her bare arm with the back of a couple of fingers. She was icy – Had she been out here all night? “Hey” He called lowly, running the two fingers up and down her arm.

 

Carol stirred, opening her eyes slowly to look at him. “Daryl” She mumbled still half asleep. “I baked you cookies”

 

“That right?” Daryl grinned a bit.

 

“You said you’d come running” Her eyes fell shut again.

 

She didn’t see the soft smirk on his lips, before he lifted her up into his arms and carried her inside. He didn’t put her down, before they had reached the room that had been designated as hers. Putting her down onto her bed, very gently, Daryl took off her boots and pulled the covers over her. There was still a few hours left, before it was time to get up and she looked like she needed the rest, but mostly the warmth.

 

He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the fact that she worried enough to stay out on the porch all night. If she had been the one that was out on a run, he would have worried too. He would have volunteered for guard duty, just so he had an excuse not to sleep. But that was different, she was Carol, he was allowed to worry. Why she worried about him, he’d never understand.   
Daryl stood for a moment watching her and that was when she woke up.

 

“You’re back” there was a slight smile on her face as she looked up at him.

 

Daryl just nodded silently.

 

“How did it go?” She sat up in the bed, padding the edge of it as she moved a bit further onto the mattress.

 

Daryl watched her for a moment, before he sat down. “Found food, a bit of ammo, supplies.. Good run”

 

“How come..” Carol moved a bit, sitting up straighter. “You said it would take two days”

 

“Got held up by some walkers” He explained simply, turning to look at her fully.

 

“You hurt” her hand shut up to his temple, instinctively. Touching it carefully, a worried look on her face.

 

“It’s alright.. stopped bleeding hours ago” He muttered, but didn’t move. Instead, he kept his eyes on her.

 

Carol looked it over anyway, as much as she could with the little light they had. “No stitches needed” She said when she was sure of it, not noticing just how close they were sitting, before she had spoken.

 

Her hand slid from his temple to his jaw, as she looked into his blue eyes, making a shiver run up and down his spine. “I’m glad you’re back safely” She smiled softly, relieved.

 

“Nine lives – remember?” His lips curled into an insecure smile. Leaning in she rested his forehead against his, smiling. Daryl placed a hand on her arm, the purpose of it, unknown even to him. “You’re cold – you should rest, heat up” He moved to leave, but Carol’s hand stopped him.

 

“Stay.. the bed’s big enough for the both of us.. Or I’ll just wake and think you haven’t returned yet.”

 

Daryl leaned back, nodding slowly. “Alright.” He got up and kicked off his boots, before lying down, on top of the covers, on the opposite side of the bed. His clothes were dirty and he was probably making the sheets dirty too, but taking off his dirty clothes wouldn’t help much, he was dirty under them as well.

 

Carol crawled down deep under the sheets, only her head poking out. It didn’t take long before she was out, or looked like she was out. Daryl on the other hand, wasn’t that comfortable, it would take a while before he fell asleep. Not that he wasn’t tired, he was, he was exhausted. But Carol being that close, made him very aware of every move she made as well as the ones he made.   


Not much time passed before she started shivering. He didn’t suppose those sheets gave much warmth. It was summer after all and warmth wasn’t really a thing people worried about now. But now, with Carol shivering so violently, he could only think of one way to warm her up. Moving closer, Daryl spooned her from behind, feeling extremely uncomfortable, doing it, but when she stopped shivering, he started relaxing too, thinking he’d gotten away with lying so close to her, without waking her up. She turned her head to look at him – so she wasn’t asleep after all. “You don’t – “

 

“Shut up and sleep” He cut her off, gently, hoping that it was dark enough, so she would see him blushing.

 

“Daryl..” She trailed off.

 

“What?”

 

“Give me your arm”

 

Daryl looked at her, slightly confused, but he did as she asked.

 

Carol tugged his arm around her, placing his hand on her shoulder, for his sake, he thought. It forced him to move in closer, before she finally stopped moving and relaxed against him. It took a while before Daryl could do the same.

 

He lay with his forehead pressed against the back of her neck, breathing in her smell of lavender soap and freshly baked cookies. When she finally drifted off, he felt it, by the way she stopped clinging to his arm. Daryl followed her, not far behind, sliding into the most comfortable sleep he had had since all of this started. Knowing that she was safe in the best way possible, because she was right there in his arms. As it should be.

 


	9. Keeping watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt in the mood for a bit of fluff, so here you go.

 

The watchtower had been shot up, back when the governor tried to take the prison with the people of Woodbury. Now it was patched up and had almost been labeled as Maggie and Glenn’s loveshack. Well, at least whenever one of them had the night watch. They tended to join each other and take it together. Cosy.

 

But not tonight, tonight it was Carol’s watch and it had only just begun. For her it was a lonely affair, just sitting at the tower, staring into the night. It would have been nice, if it wasn’t for the sounds of the walkers along the fence. They were a constant reminder of where they were and how the world was. She was just grateful, that there were so many people at the prison now, that the night watch wasn’t a thing she had to do often. It was passed around among the adults and Maggie and Glenn seemed more than happy to take one or two watches a week. They didn’t fool anybody, the whole prison knew what they were doing, when they had the watch.

 

Carol was glad to have the watch tonight, because it was hot, too hot. The sun was still setting, which meant it was getting increasingly cooler. Up in the tower there was a nice breeze flowing, it would be the best place to be tonight, the coolest place. No pun intended.   
So Carol was more than content to sit out on the platform around the tower, all night.

 

She had only been sitting there for an hour or so, when the hatch inside of the tower opened with a bang. Carol tilted to her side, to look through the missing door and see who it was. The first thing that came up was a small bowl, followed by two strong arms, that she recognized immediately. “Thought it was your night off” Carol commented as Daryl got to his feet, picked up the bowl and joined her on the platform, sitting down next to her.

 

“Figured I’d bring you some food” He said simply, handing her the bowl. It was filled to the brim with cuts of steaming hot meat.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Deer”

 

“One of yours?”

 

Daryl made a small affirmative noise and she smiled a little. A smile that she noticed Daryl mirrored. It wasn’t often that he got a whole deer from a hunt. Usually it was squirrels or possums, sometimes hares. So when he bagged a deer, it was a big deal. And it was usually a bit of a feast when he did.

 

“Thank you” Carol said after eating a few cuts.

 

Daryl just nodded silently.

 

They sat in silence for a while, while Carol ate. “What happened to your arm?” She asked, looking at the three-inch cut across his upper arm. It looked relatively deep, from where she was sitting.

 

“Ran into some walkers” He said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Which she supposed it was in this world.  

 

“Want me to take a look at it?”

 

Daryl shrugged, which she assumed could both be a yes, and a ‘I don’t care whether you do or not’. She finished the meat first and by that point, Daryl had moved to the edge of the platform, swinging his feet over the edge of it.

 

Moving to sit behind him, Carol dragged her bag. She roamed through it for a bit, before pulling out a bottle of water, a few rags and some tape, along with some bandage.

 

“You brought the whole hospital?” Daryl huffed half a laugh.

 

”Only the surgical wing” Carol joked back as she poured a bit of water over the wound, to clean it. It was deep, but not deep enough for stiches. She cleaned it as much as she could, very aware of how Daryl’s eyes were watching her face the entire time. Her hands were gentle as they worked, touching his warm and slightly dirty skin lightly, trying not to make the wound bleed again.   
Carol used the tape to close up the wound as best she could, before wrapping it up in the bandage. “You should keep an eye on it, but it looks clean for now” She said as she fastened the end of the bandage with a few pieces of tape.

 

“Alright” Daryl murmured, eyes still stuck to her face, but it wasn’t before now that Carol looked up to meet his eyes.

 

Her hand still rested on his arm, in the crook between his upper and lower arm, as she held his gaze. “You should be more careful” She said with a bit of a smile, although she was only partly joking. She expected him to huff and brush her off with some comment about how you couldn’t be careful enough or something.

 

But instead he just looked back at her “Why?”

 

Well, wasn’t that obvious? To stay alive, to stay safe. But she assumed that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. “For me” If he hadn’t been so close, he wouldn’t have been able to hear her quiet confession. “I can’t lose you too” Her hand gripped his arm a bit tighter, as the look on his face grew more intense.

 

Lifting her hand of his free arm, Daryl brought it up to cup her face, letting his thumb stroke over her cheekbone. “I’m not going anywhere”

 

She wasn’t sure if he leaned in first, or if he pulled her. But suddenly his lips were on hers, kissing her slowly, softly.

 

It didn’t last long, but it was more than enough. Daryl leaned back and watched her as he did. She watched him too, particularly his lips. “What was that for?” she asked, all too aware of the crooked smile that was on her lips.

 

“For you” He answered, without any sign of blushing, but with that hint of a smile in the corner of his mouth, that you really had to know him to be able to see. Daryl let his thumb brush over her cheekbone once more, before he let his hand drop from her face.

 

They sat for a while, watching each other, which then turned to watching the sunset, and the walkers, like Carol was supposed to. There wasn’t that many at the moment, so there wasn’t much to worry about. The sun disappeared behind the horizon, leaving only a stripe of light along it. Daryl stayed right where he was, with no sign of wanting to move, even after it got dark. At one point Carol moved to sit next to him, hanging her feet of the edge of the platform and somehow his hand found hers, intertwining their fingers as they watched the stars appear, while the night turned increasingly darker and cooler.

 

“It’s been two years .. one of these days” Daryl muttered quietly.

 

Carol nodded silently, of course she had noticed. She had no idea what date it was, only what month, more or less. So she couldn’t know the exact day. But she knew that he was right.

 

“You okay? .. Last year you didn’t say a thing for a week.. ”

 

“I’m okay” She replied with a fond smile in his direction, but wasn’t able to hide the emotion in her voice. It was something that she was sure, she would never get over. Watching her little girl coming out of that barn was burned into her memory, she couldn’t forget it.

 

Daryl let go of her hand and put an arm around her instead, pulling her closer, until she lay her head on his shoulder.

 

They sat like that for a while, in silence. Which was all she really needed, Daryl didn’t need to say anything to comfort her. She knew that he had taken the loss of Sophia hard, just like she had. He knew what she was feeling and she knew what he felt, so there was no need to explain. They could just sit in silence and still recognize that they were feeling sad for the same reason.

 

“I see why Glenn and Maggie like taking this shift together” Carol said after the silence had gone on for long enough.

 

Daryl huffed but held onto her a bit tighter, making her think that he could definitely see it too.

 


	10. Rooftop thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Got a meme from Mel (EmpressMcBride)
> 
> "One of my Alexandria headcanons is that Carol finds out that they can climb the roof from one of the windows. She does that every other night just to sit there, watch the stars and think. One day Daryl watches her doing that and since that day they sit up there in silence together."

It was chilly on the rooftop that night, autumn was moving in fast and cold it seemed. The sky was clear, which only made it all the colder. Daryl was for once, glad that they had houses to sleep in. Mostly for the kids, because he would have been fine, sleeping outside in this. But even him did enjoy a warm bed, more than a hard and cold sleep on the ground. Besides there were other things keeping him here. Like the person climbing up the roof at the moment, to join him there.  
  


Carol didn’t waste any time but sat down between his legs, in his arms. Of course Daryl didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her waist, to make sure she didn’t slide off the roof. “Once the frost sets in, we’ll have to find another place to meet” She said as she got comfortable, leaning against his chest and burying herself in his warmth.

 

“It’ll still be a while yet” Daryl mumbled, hoping that it would be true. Because he really did enjoy their time alone one the roof. Ever since the time that he had spotted her sitting up there alone. And where else could they be sure to be alone and unwatched? A locked door and closed blinds was the only thing that came to mind. But Daryl really did prefer to be outside and not locked up like an animal, even if it was with Carol. Then again, he couldn’t really imagine going 3 or 4 months without being alone with her every once in a while.

 

They sat in silence for a while, watching the stars, like they normally did. Like Daryl had done just about a million times before, but he felt so much better, doing it with his arms around her. He felt more settled, more comfortable in his own existence, something he had never thought that another person could make him feel. But she did, Carol did. With her he could tolerate a life in this fake suburb, because she wouldn’t demand more from him, than he could give. And he would do the same for her.

 

It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes or so, of them sitting out there, before Carol started shivering in his arms. Daryl pulled her a little closer, “We should got back inside”

 

“Not yet” She whispered back, putting her arms atop of his, holding him there.

 

Daryl smirked a bit “Alright, but if you get sick it’s not my fault”

 

“You’ll just have to nurse me back to health” She joked. Daryl didn’t need to see her face to imagine the smile that was on her lips. Just knowing that she was smiling, made him smile as well.

 

Daryl scoffed out a huff of a laugh, “Yeah.. sure” He would though, if she really got sick. He’d bring her tea and books and whatever else she might need. He’d stay back from runs, just to be close in case she got really sick. If she did get sick, he wouldn’t leave, Daryl was pretty sure he couldn’t.  

Nudging his nose against her temple, Daryl rested his brow against the side of her head, closing his eyes. He could feel Carol relaxing into his embrace, even if she was still shivering.

 

“You know what’s a good thing about winter?” When he didn’t reply, she went on. “It’s a good excuse to go to bed early”

 

Daryl raised a brow and leaned away a few inches so he could see the cheeky grin on her lips. “That right?”

 

Carol laughed for a bit, before she leaned back into him. “Good thing winter’s still a while off, huh?”

 

“Come to think of it, I’ve always liked winter”

 

“Is that so?” She grinned at him.

 

“Well.. with you, it can’t be that bad” He admitted, before leaning down to kiss her, a grin still etched onto his lips. Truth was he didn’t like winter that much. It was too damn cold and dark, it was impossible to be outside for more hours than there was daylight, and during the winter that just wasn’t long enough.

 

“So you’re up for spending the next four months in bed with me?”

 

“Do we have to wait for winter to get here?”

 

“No” She kissed him shortly, before getting up and wandering down the roof. Once she was at the window, Carol turned and looked back at him. “You coming?”

 

Daryl nearly fell off the roof, in his hurry to get to her. 


	11. Cold Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Carol try to keep warm on a cold night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been nearly 3 months since I last posted anything. Actually if I posted this tomorrow, it would have been 3 months exactly. And not just with posting anything, writing anything too. Fanfiction anyway. And for anyone who writes you'll know that 3 months is forever! 
> 
> So I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things. And fluff is what I find the easiest to write, so I did this drabble. Hope you like it :)

Normally for animals, exposing one’s stomach, was a sign of trust. With Daryl, who sometimes shared several abilities with predators, it was the exact opposite. Daryl rarely exposed his back to anyone. Carol knew why, because she did the same. Knowing that the scars were there and showing them to someone else, were two very different things.

 

So Carol knew how much of a sign of trust, it was, when Daryl lay against her, on his stomach and let her draw intricate patterns against the skin of his back, with the tip of her fingers.

 

He hadn’t exactly given her permission to do so, in fact he had jumped about a foot in the air, when she had put her hand there, earlier. Not because he didn’t want her to touch him there, but because her hands were cold. “Fuck” he muttered, because they had to stay quiet, if not, he would probably have yelled it, or at the very least, spoken loudly. “Your hands are freezing” he muttered then.

 

“Sorry” Carol chuckled, snuggling closer to him. They were camped outside again, still traveling on the road, looking for a safe place to call home. It was in the late end of autumn and the nights were getting beyond chilly. It wasn’t odd to find all of the group crowded together closely, trying to stay warm, while one or two of them kept watch. It was like that tonight as well. Everything had been quiet, until Carol had snug her hand up under Daryl’s shirt.

 

He was lying with his shoulder on top of hers, his stomach against the ground, arm around her, holding her close, and his face pressed against her neck, the cold tip of his nose, against the warm crook between Carol’s neck and her ear.

 

“I’m sorry about this too” Carol whispered, before she put her other hand, up under the front of his shirt, Pressing it against the skin of his stomach. Daryl muttered something she couldn’t hear what was, but Carol was pretty sure that it had been some kind of curse.

 

Daryl took his revenge by sneaking his own hand up and under Carol’s shirt, making her squeal a little and turn her head into Daryl’s, to dampen the sound. “Payback’s a bitch” Daryl chuckled as he ran the flat of his palm further up her shirt. “Mr Dixon, we’re supposed to be quiet” she whispered back, unable to hide the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth. “You started it” he retorted, before covering her mouth with hers, so she couldn’t reply and so no one could hear her lovely chuckle, but him.


End file.
